After 4 days of bliss at home with my love, it was back to work today. Don't get me wrong, usually I love my job! It's fun, and makes for great stories...the kind so crazy you can't make them up. But this isn't what I want to do with my life.
Now I work in Adult Foster Care as a shift lead in a home specializing in Traumatic Brain Injuries. It is a privilege-truly. To work with adults and trying to assimilate them back into the community. Finding joy in small victories, teaching "normal" daily habits and reactions. It's just not my passion. I'm a social work major for a reason, I want to help people. And I'm damn good at it. But my passion is children. Abused and neglected children. Delinquent children. Hurting children. THAT is what I live for. The redemption, the healing, the love that can blossom in little hearts.
Being accepted to University is the culmination of 7 years of my life. It means I am ALMOST THERE.
I am TERRIFIED. What if I fail? What if I'm unable to emotionally separate myself to effectively do my job?! What if I can't handle what I'm seeing? What if I don't actually help anyone-and do harm instead?! What if I hate it????
It's so much safer here. I work my 40 hours a week, have relationships with my co-workers; I know my clients and their families. I'm well-networked and well-liked. I know what to do, and I'm good at it.
Here we go. This adventure called life. I think it's getting ready to take off. And I hope I'm ready.